Longhorn Steak House

March, 2009
Hamilton, NJ

Obviously you don't expect much of the chain restaurants and their bars, and previous experiences have upheld this low expectation, if such expectations can be upheld. Maybe you downhold low expectations? Regardless, Longhorn had something new to offer.

The "top shelf" Long Island iced tea.

Yes, for only fifty cents more, we could experience the upper echelon of the LIIT. Had to ask, what's the difference? Our waitress told us that the regular LIIT was made with a mix, but the top shelf one was made with premium alcohols mixed by hand. Well, now you had the attention of the committee at large! Bring those immediately and spill them everywhere!!

It was at this time that a discussion of the necessity of the foam at the top of the glass ensued. Perhaps a new rating category? We shall see.

So the sipping of the TSLIIT began. Quite nice was the overall impression! Very smooth. A superior beverage by all accounts...except...where's the signature kick? Food came, drinks emptied...nothing. So we decided to get a second round, some sticking with top shelf, some trying the lower shelf for comparison's sake. (Comparison: Bottom shelf very similar to other chains' lemony attempts.) Two LIITs down, no one is feeling it.

So the quality was there, but what was the point? If you're just looking for a tasty drink, enjoy a Pepsi or a Shirley Temple. But that's not why the LIIT was invented. We know what we're looking for.

Taste: 9
Throwdownability: 9
Kick: 6
Quantity: Average